This Blog is Dead

This journey has shriveled up and died. The bottom line is this...if you cut off the food supply all living creatures and entities will eventually surrender to defeat.

This blog was begun and fueled by negativity and angst. I was annoyed with my house, my country, my job, and my life. Then while working with my best friend I had a moment of clarity. And in that moment I did an amazing thing...

I took my finger off the self destruction button.

As soon as I did that everything looked different. I looked around my house and thought...
"Damn. This place is really beautiful."
I had been beating up myself for not achieving perfection instead of patting myself on the back for literally doing the impossible.

I then developed a 'look up' tactic. I had spent so many years looking down as I walked to avoid continuously twisting my ankle on the medieval cobblestone that paves the streets of my precious city. I had been so busy cursing the cobblestone that I never actually looked up to see what my neighborhood had to offer.

So with a simple spin of the situation I have now discovered a beauty that makes me smile every morning on my way to work...Even when I do twist my ankle.

As far as my life goes, I can say for certainty that the self destruct button is a funny thing. The moment I took my finger off, it disappeared. I have tried to find it a few times since its vanishing act with no avail. For example, I have tried on many occasions to post on this blog. But every time, I had either nothing to say, a total block, or an annoyance at the idea of blogging all together. This blog was a promotion of my negativity and angst. This blog died the day the self-destruct button vanished.

So where do I go from here?

I have a new blog. Its an idea Ive been playing with for years and now it finally has a home. The blog is BunkaMadison and some of the 1st posts are already up.

As this chapter of my life closes, I am walking away knowing one thing to be true:

If I do ever find myself with my finger on the self destruct button again, it will be the direct result of me going out of my way and actively searching for and finding that button. It would be a deliberate sabotage of myself. And it would be a rebirth of this dead post.

MAds

Refusal to Pay

I have in this project refused to pay or only partially paid workers for their work. Here are a few photos of how my house looks 6 months post reconstruction. These are just a few photos to show the state of things. In reality there are many more examples. This is, according to the craftsmen, a finished job meeting or exceeding the minimum standards of their craft.

The question I was recently asked was whether I was a demanding customer who expected miracles, or a person who refused to be taken advantage of?


You be the judge



Here you can see how the painter left the living room. There is a line of two different colors and then lots of blotches where it looks like he tried to touch things up. This was the final result after me demanding that he repaint 3 times. The first time the color was not the one I requested. The second came out stripped as he hadn't mixed the colors properly. And this was the third time around. I was so drained by his incompetence I just let it go.

But he wasn't finished demonstrating his craftsmanship...

He also thought it would be fun to paint over the Ardesia and not clean up after himself. And when he was supposed to paint over things (electrical covers) he just couldn't get to it. Probably because he was busy painting over the WRONG THING!


But the following takes the cake...


This so called 'craftsman' didn't bother to use the correct length screws and about two weeks after he called himself done, the door completely fell apart. Fortunately I was standing nearby and was able to catch most of the panes of glass that fell out.

So, lets just take a poll. Which, if any of these things would you have paid for?

MAds

Kitchen-exchange: Did I get this right?

I've just had an amazing experience with California Certified Kitchen Designer Peggy Deras, CKD, CID. I sent her an email with a few pictures of my kitchen for her impression. She went over and beyond her call of duty and gave me play by play feedback. I was blown away by her expertise as she identified immediately that it was a European kitchen without any previous knowledge of the fact. Good Work Peggy! But I suppose that's why she makes the big bucks!

Check out the write-up and my response here:

Kitchen-exchange: Did I get this right?


I also had the pleasure of exchanging a few emails with kitchen designer Laurie Burke. Even if she doesn't critique my kitchen in her blog, I still highly recommend taking a look at her site if you are in the process of or thinking about remodeling your kitchen

Update!!!
She did take the time to add additional info...check it out

Kitchen Design Notes: Kitchen-exchange: Did I get this right?

Thanks a million Laurie!

My bestest friend also comments on how it all started in his blog Building la pura vida It is an amazing story of building with the utmost respect to nature. My friend is truly one of the few making a difference.

Since I've been getting so much input on kitchens, all the trials and tribulations of getting mine to where it is today will be my next topic of discussion.

PS. Dont forget to check in with the great blog coco+kelley not only to get fun decorating ideas but to also give suggestions for the terrible living room!

The Architect (continued)

Okay, so I had a bit of a temper tantrum. My husband calmed me down and helped me realize that a professional, as arrogant as they may be, would be very important in our project. We had to get it right, and we had to do it on a tight budget. An architect would be crucial in achieving that.

That was the rational, at least...

We eagerly awaited some of the architect's drawings and were finally called for a meeting about two weeks later. As we sat at the table, I began to wonder if what I was seeing was a joke of some kind.

There were about 5 proposals, one more hideous than the other. My husband and I have since buckled over laughing at dinner parties over some.

Just to describe a few of the brilliant ideas...

1. As you entered my house there was a floor to ceiling window that didnt have a view but provided substantial light. That window was designed to be closed and new walls put up to create a 1meter x 60cm 'room' for my beloved dog Eva. Why not just lock her in the closet?

2. A second bathroom to be placed in the current hallway requiring us to walk through the bathroom to enter the bedroom and vice versa.

3. Our favourite, the second bathroom located directly next to the 1st bathroom with neither having direct access to a bedroom. This one was the most tragic as it happens to be the architect's M.O. We went to a friends house he designed and they have two bathrooms one next to the other, and neither attached to a bedroom. If that were not bad enough, both bathrooms are on the other side of the house relative to the bedrooms. They have been in the house for less than a year and are already making plans for a new remodel...GET THIS...to bring the house back to its original design. They say the new floor plan is unlivable. WoW.

So needless to say, my husband and I decided NOT to continue working with this architect. We told him that we didn't believe that he shared our vision. Because he was a family friend we offered to pay him for his time up until that point. BIG MISTAKE. He sent us an invoice for 8,000 euro!!!!

Fortunately my husband is a lawyer and we were able to do the calculations of what we owed him based on the Italian standard of pay for labor and we calculated that he was entitled to 500 euro. BIG DIFFERENCE!!! We contacted the architect and brought all of the relevant documents and informed him that we were under no circumstances whatsoever going to pay him 8,000 euro for his work and that it has a market value of only 500 euro. He was offended and said he would rather take nothing than 500 euro for his work. That was fine by me...Haven't seen or heard form him since.

Let that be a lesson.

The Architect

Two of our friends were in the process of a renovation and they recommended an architect to us. We had been in the house for about a year and were eager to get started on the plan. I was very excited to be working with an architect and thought it very posh to have one at all. I began brainstorming on what kind of house I wanted and imagining all of the possibilities.

The day came that we met with the architect. He walked around the house, stroking his beard and examining the place intently. After about 10 minutes I was getting impatient.

"I was really hoping to modernize this place, but still keep its charm. I was thinking about moving the location of the kitchen to the front of the house. Maybe to this room...."

"Yes. Yes. I'm thinking of what would work best" the architect said in a pondering voice.

"Oh, ok. Well I saw these tiles and fell in love with them and ordered them. Do you want to see them? I think that we can use them in the bathroom maybe..."

The architect was startled...and disgusted,"You bought tiles? Why would you do that? Dont buy anything else. Dont make any more suggestions, let me think of how I want my house to be. You have to understand that you cant do anything without my approval"

Ok...

DJ! STOP THE MUSIC!

Now, none of you all know who I am. And maybe some of you would have said the same thing as the architect. But lets make a few things clear now so we dont run into any future problems.

1st. Unless you plan on making monthly contributions to my mortgage, in no way, shape, or form is MY HOUSE yours.

2nd. If I contract you to provide a service for me, and I pay you to provide such service, you will listen to every and all suggestions I make, even if they include painting my a$$ blue. You will at minimum listen. That is part of your job. Service provider...Client...Get it???

3rd. If I am adamant on something that I want to incorporate into or retain in my house, your job, as a professional, is to find a way to do it.

4th. I need a house I can live in, that my dog can live in, that my future children can live in, that we can entertain in. i.e. A house that works for me. When I want a house that looks amazing in print, but non functional in practice, I will go downtown and walk around showrooms.

5th. And most important. The goal of this project is not for you to add to your portfolio and impress your friends and colleagues with. The goal...YOUR JOB is to create a home for me based on my needs.

Can I get an AMEN?


Now if you are not feeling any of the 5 above mentioned points, you can probably stop reading, because we do not see eye to eye and you are going to find me highly irritating.

If those 5 points hit home for you, we are cool and you will enjoy some of the other things I have to say...

So it all started...

... in 2003. My husband, my dog and I were all living in a one room studio and desperately searching for a larger place. Desperately searching on a budget that was laughable. Then, one glorious day a phone call came from my Mother-in-Law. A tenant in one of her apartments was requesting to cease the rental agreement and she wanted to know if we were interested in the apartment. We jumped at the call and went that night.

The apartment was....INCREDIBLE! Not because it was new or modern or already in great shape, but because it had character. It was 'hibernating' as I liked to say. Thats to say it was sleeping and waiting to be woken up and restored to its former glory. I fell in love with the place instantly and said yes to the offer.

A month went by before we were able to move in...A very long month.

My mother in law wanted us to reconstruct the place before moving in. We were newlyweds and it was the proper thing to do. To move into a house clean and reconstructed.

I said no.

I had a feeling about this place. I knew that it was special and that I needed to get to know the home before I could modify anything. I also knew that I wanted something extraordinary. At that time, however, I had not the budget nor the faintest idea where to start.

What I had not realized was that the apartment had been a rental property for 30+ years. It was not sleeping...It was in a comma. And it was reacting like muscles in a body. It was weak, atrified and resigned to its fate. We lived with lukewarm water (at its hottest) when it ran, electrical nightmares, random heat (my husband still laughs about me wearing the ski cap in the house), a toilet that didn't flush (those who visited can attest to the ritual involved in getting a flush!) various colors, various ideas and various budgets.

After 3 long years and many false starts, I had finally put together what would be, and what is now 'The Cabella House'

Link to Photos

I'm going to France for inspiration. Strangely enough I've already had a lot of views of my original post, so I decided to post the photo album of the house for you all to take a look at while I'm gone.

In September, barring unforeseen obstacles, you'll get the story behind the photos.

The Cabella House

PS Please feel free to give me any and all feedback!

MAds

I only wear Prada shoes. Its true. I have a pair of Nike's for the gym, some slippers for the house, and my German Hiking boots, but all others are Prada.

In the last month most of my hair has fallen out and I've lost considerable weight and I cant get more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep. Don't know why. Cant be stress, I've had all of August off.

So the question is, why have I, an insomniac, Prada wearing 32 year old Black woman whose hair is falling out spent her vacation dismantling the shower, re-installing it and sealing it; dismantling the bathroom double sink, re-installing and sealing it; digging out the gout in the shower and re-grouting it; re-wiring all the principle lights (as in attaching the correct light to the correct switch); taking down, sanding down and repainting walnut wood doors?

Why am I doing these things less than 6 months after I paid grown men whose job it is to do these things 35,000 Euro to them? WHY!? Because the world is filled with incompetent people who do their jobs for the money and not for the satisfaction it gives them.

This is the story of my journey from then to now.

This is an outlet to help me digest all of my bitter feelings post reconstrucion in Italy and finally enjoy my home.

If you are planning on embarking on, in the process of doing, or looking back on the but kicking contruction gave you in Italy, you may need this blog just as much as I do.

And so the story begins. From start to finish.